Words Hurt

Today, while in Costco, I witnessed a child--no older than six--pick up a Harry Potter video game and exclaim, "They showed the whole story. That's so gay!" A few moments later, his older brother--about ten or eleven--could be heard saying "Ugh. That's retarded."

It really made me wonder about what people are teaching their children. I often will hear these words in my job (at the college level). Women will call each other derogatory terms and consider it affectionate. People will randomly curse, not caring who is around to hear them, including my nearly five-year-old daughter. Why can't people just think about what they are saying and how it may affect others? When did we all become so selfish?

The harder part, still, is to confront this behavior when we witness it. Did I walk down the aisle and talk to these young boys about how their words were inappropriate? Sadly, no. If we are to live in a civil society, we have to unlearn what has been taught as acceptable and even "cool." I hope that next time I will be more courageous, take advantage of a teachable moment, and that I will raise my daughter to be a strong woman and do the same.

Opposition in All Things

After work, yesterday, I traveled with my family to Atlantic Beach. As we arrived home tonight, I started thinking about the opposition in all things.

On the way down, my daughter drove me absolutely insane (as a nearly five-year-old probably should during a four hour car ride). She was excessively noisy and ended up dropping my food in the floor of the restaurant while I was in the bathroom--after I told her not to touch it. On the other hand, she brought me tremendous joy when she woke up in the hotel and came over to snuggle with me, as well as when I saw her playing in the ocean with her dad. I was extremely proud when I saw her befriending some other little girls who looked different from her. So, how can things bring us so much frustration but also so much happiness?

Another example came to mind as I sat in the sun and was calmed by the sound of the waves. The sand was warm and soft and I was completely relaxed with a book on the beach. Later, I found that same beautiful sun had burned me to a nice shade of lobster red in the areas where I neglected the proper detail with my sunscreen. (I am now blotched, dotted, and striped in some places. It isn't pretty)

Ultimately, this weekend was a testament of Heavenly Father's creations and His great plan that teaches us that there is opposition in all things. We accepted that condition and will be blessed by the gratitude and appreciation that we have of the peaks (that wouldn't be as evident if we didn't also have valleys). Now, off to lather my scarlet reminders, to be grateful, with aloe lotion...

Juggling

So, I haven't posted over the weekend, but I thought I'd share a little bit of myself--the roles I play and the life I juggle. I plan to give a snapshot of my weekend using my many "jobs." These are the experiences that shape who I am.

Mom- My daughter had her preschool graduation on Friday night. She was voted "Class Socialite" but refused to go up in front of everyone and receive her certificate and diploma. A bit contradictory, eh? I think she may be on the path to introversion, like her mommy. This weekend was also the stage for two total meltdowns. She lost it when we had to leave preschool, as she missed her friends and did not want to go. The next day, we were at a work/social function at my supervisor's house and she became a holy terror upon news that we needed to leave. She screamed, cried, bit, and slapped at both me and her dad. Don't get me wrong, she's a good kid! However, she has been at her grandparents' for most of June and we are still in the process of reprogramming her and reminding her of what discipline means. Parenting is definitely a full-time job!

Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints- Friday night I met with three other wonderful women from our congregation who work hard to serve the children. It's always so uplifting to take a break from the fast-pace of life and talk about the things that really matter. We did some planning and delegation and hope that the Spirit led us to do what is best for the little guys. Sunday is always a busy day, which is focused completely around Church. I serve as First Counselor in the Primary. This month, I am conducting, so I was able to share some experiences about the temple and introduce the kids who would be sharing prayers, the scripture, and the talk. They did such an excellent job! Our primary president taught sharing time and rocked it out. It is such an inspiration to see her teach about eternal families, as she strives for that blessing. She is faithful and diligent and know it will happen for her!

Coordinator for Residence Life- So, this weekend was a bit busy for me with my job, though that is not usually the case. I had the "pleasure" of holding the duty phone. Essentially, what this means is that I am at the beck and call of anyone that has ANY issue at the University, as it pertains to housing. The week was slow, but on Sunday (which I always try to set aside only for Church), I was bombarded by 16 phone calls. We had one of our largest camps of the summer check in and there were tons of facilities issues. Duty is definitely dreaded by all. The ring of the duty phone leads to annoyance and a nervous frenzy. However, if you don't hear it ring, you may be concerned as to where it is. Did I leave it in the car? Did it die? Have people been trying to call? Ugh. I am SO glad that is over for now.

Wife- Sadly, this part of my life did not receive a ton of attention this weekend. My husband is a fabulous man. He is so caring and is such a great dad. We had some really deep and important conversations. He dealt with me leaving him multiple cleaning requests. I am so lucky that we have a partnership. I cook, he cleans the dishes. He's not working as much this summer, so he is willing to do more of the housework (if I leave reminders). We also made a trip to the farmer's market this Saturday because he knows I have a passion for food--eating it and preparing it. My hope is to spend more quality time this week.

I am so thankful for all that I get to do; however, sometimes I struggle with how to do it all and do it well. Does anyone have a radioactive spider I can borrow? A direct line to Krypton? How can we do everything without superpowers?

Beautiful Dreamer

I am an avid Facebooker. Though I have not entered the realm of addiction, I do look at it every day to stay abreast of the happenings in the lives of those in Kentucky, Chapel Hill, and other places where my friends and family have moved on. Today, I ran across the following quote in the status of my friend, Jennifer:

‎"Never let your memories be greater than your dreams."

I had already planned to share my dreams list today; so, when I ran across this quote, I found it very applicable. As I've worked to establish my "bucket list," I've often found that I revel a lot on the past. I think of the experiences I had at WKU, how many great relationships I've had, and how my roots are in Kentucky. There are many times that I have been adamant about returning there as soon as possible. However, are my memories outweighing my dreams? In all honesty, I have amazing memories in Bowling Green, but will a future there ever measure up to what I had in my past? What is there for me? If we were to go back, would I be limiting myself and my family?

While we have lived in North Carolina, we have had the opportunity to expose our daughter to so many experiences and different people. We have completely changed out eating habits and made a positive lifestyle change. I am strongly considering a PhD or EdD upon the completion of my husband's degree. I know there is only one university in that area. But, how do we move past being that beautiful dreamer and "wake unto" our bigger--and likely better--dreams? [A little trivia for you... Beautiful Dreamer was written by Stephen Foster, the same man who penned My Old Kentucky Home]

So, as you can tell, I've been thinking a lot about my future lately. I know that I have been blessed with an awesome family and some talents in the area of education, teaching, and learning. My hope is that I can magnify these talents in the dreams that I hope to achieve. While the following is not an exhaustive list, here are a few of the items that I'd like to see accomplished in my lifetime:

• Have a second child
• Establish a consistent exercise routine for lifetime fitness.
• Be consistent in my daily scripture study and personal prayers.
• Earn a PhD or EdD
• Travel to London with my husband.
• Own a home with a bay window and a front porch (preferably a wrap-around)
• Travel to all six continents (Antarctica doesn't count because it's too friggin' cold)
• Run/walk a marathon.
• Go to culinary school.
• Have my brother be genuinely happy.
• See each of my children graduate, get married in the temple, and have children of their own.
• Learn to sew.
• Learn to garden and can.
• Read a new book per month.
• Take the Abbey Road pic (but I must be Paul)
• Write a memoir
• Schedule and attend monthly temple trips
• Learn a foreign language (well enough to speak)
• Learn to like seafood (it's supposed to be so good for you)
• Live near my brother-in-law and sister-in-law; near water makes it even better!
• Create a new family tradition
• Take a dance class
• Become a life coach/dream coach (this is a new interest but I think I'd like to pursue it)
• Go to the Sacred Grove
• Volunteer at least an hour of my time to helping someone else (weekly and outside of normal duties)

While I am sure there are many more that I can list, I'll stop for now. Give your dreams some consideration. What's holding you back? Pick one to work on and we can be accountability buddies! I have a lot of practical dreams but I need to work on the "Dream Big" piece. I'll keep you updated as I add to my list.

A New Beginning

"We can break the cycle - We can break the chain
We can start all over - In the new beginning
We can learn, we can teach
We can share the myths, the dream, the prayer
The notion that we can do better
Change our lives and paths
Create a new world and
Start all over"

Tracy Chapman has long been one of my favorite artists. I have often considered doing a blog, but like with so many things, I never followed through. Recently, I have been meeting with a group of folks who are dedicated to making their dreams happen. I regularly find myself talking with them about how I need to slow down; take time to enjoy the things around me...to reflect and to appreciate. So, Tracy's lyrics rang particularly true for me as I thought about my first entry. We can break cycles. We can change.

My intent is to take a little time each day to process what makes my life so unique, such a gift. In doing so, I hope to cultivate gratitude as well as give folks a little insight into my life. Sometimes people don't get to know the real me because I am so busy with all of the hats I wear (or as the book I am currently reading for work suggests--all of the elephants I juggle). But honestly, do I take time to think about who I truly am? I hope we can discover together. "We can share...the dream..."

Tomorrow, I plan to work on my dream list (an assignment from the group). Have you ever considered your dreams? Your bucket list? Why do we get so caught up in the things that do not matter? The purpose of life is to live it...and hopefully we can make some new beginnings along the way.